#WholesomeRelationship // Episode25
15 REASONS WHY SEX IN MARRIAGE MAY
LOSE ATTRACTION
• PART 4
12. LACK OF CREATIVITY and INNOVATION
"VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE" they say.
No one likes to perpetually eat the same meal the same way. I mean, rice is sweet but it mustn't be jellof all the time. We can have white rice with sauce, stew, vegetables, beans, plantain, fried rice, even baked rice🤣🤣🤣🤣.
We all like to taste varieties. And the case is not different in Marriage.
In Marriage we want to be obedient with respect to the command not to eat the "forbidden Apple", but we NEED variety!🤷🤷 We want to eat the "approved Apple" but we would love to have it in various forms and packaging, new every morning, and rebranded every night 🏃🏃🏃🏃.
It would take CREATIVITY to device new ways of ''doing it'' differently each time. It takes INNOVATION to keep your partner coming back to you to "do it" or "take it" without feeling bored or trapped.
ROMANCE in Marriage takes nothing more than CREATIVITY.
ROMANCE is simply doing little things/common things in unusual and uncommon ways and with intentionality.
ROMANCE is giving that touch with a special effect, doing that thrusting and stroking with style, laying that bed with effects like petals, colours, candles, flowers and perfume, hiding that gift in his book shelf or her's in one of her empty pots. The list of the simple things you can do romantically is endless but it will only take the CREATIVITY that comes by INSPIRATION to a mind that is positively obsessed with the passion to make his/her spouse feel special, cherished and loved. Which spouse would not love "it" every time in CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT and ROMANTIC SETUPS?
Husbands and wives, let's invest time, energy, passion and emotion in our SEX LIFE. A working SEX LIFE, in marriage, does not come by chance because, there are myriad of issues and circumstances that would oppose effortless sexual pleasure but if we get intentional about deriving maximum sexual satisfaction from our spouse we will do all it may take mutually.
13. ABSENCE OF FREEDOM, JOY and EXUBERANCE
JOY and EXUBERANCE are instant response and effect of FREEDOM.
In reality, we don't always find it very easy to feel FREE, NAKED and UNASHAME, in Marriage. It usually takes a lot of time, assurances, trusting, proving and deep sense of belonging in each other to begin to really open up and truly "undress", not just our bodies but our souls and spirits before each other.
The other truth is that SEXUAL SATISFACTION, PLEASURE and ATTRACTION can ONLY happen and sustained IF couples are absolutely free to be NAKED with no restrictions, especially the one brought about by FEAR OF VULNERABILITY, JUDGEMENT and SHAME.
The major ATTRACTION in SEX is the sight of the "NAKEDNESS" but if we CANNOT BE truly NAKED in our Marriage then SEX would lose ATTRACTION.
Couples must learn how to allow each other room/space, freedom and liberty to be NAKED and UNASHAMED.
WE WERE CREATED NAKED, TO BE NAKED AND TO ENJOY NAKEDNESS. Your spouse will device means to go "NAKED" and enjoy NAKEDNESS somehow and somewhere if you don't make them room for truly NAKEDNESS.
If couples must enjoy NAKEDNESS each one must make up their minds to "INDULGE" each other.
You must realise that within the Marriage boundary there are no laws restricting, or governing the "Beditivities"🤷🤷🤷🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️.
The only laws that hold swear here are: the law of unfeigned love, selflessness, mutual compromise and consent.
What a world of BOUNDLESS OPPORTUNITIES, LOVE, FREEDOM and EXUBERANCE we would have and explore if only we start this journey into MUTUAL NAKEDNESS, INTIMACY and VULNERABILITY.
14. FEAR OF VULNERABILITY AND NAKEDNESS
I've said a lot on NAKEDNESS AND VULNERABILITY already.
Let's just look at the FEAR that stops us from giving true NAKEDNESS and VULNERABILITY a chance (I'll only list them for time and space):
* Fear of being ashamed
* Fear of being taken for granted
* Fear of being misjudged
* Fear of suffering contempt and disrespect
* Fear of being commonizes
* Fear of familiarity
* Fear of rejection
These are deep and very sensitive matters of the heart which must be taken care of if spouses must enjoy FABULOUS SEX in their Marriage.
15. FEAR OF "UNWANTED" PREGNANCY and SUFFERING INFECTION WHERE INFIDELITY IS SUSPECTED.
Couples do not want to spend all their years having newborns. They NEED children but not for the rest of their years in Marriage. And for fear of "unwanted" pregnancy some couples never do "it" for pleasure. Some couples even stop doing "it" when they get the number of children they want. In this case SEX becomes a tool, STRICTLY, for procreation.
SEX was not primarily given to man for procreation.
SEX was given to man for a PLEASURABLE COMPANIONSHIP.
MARRIAGE WAS FIRST INSTITUTED FOR COMPANIONSHIP.
Now the Lord God said, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be ALONE; I will make him a helper [one who balances him—a counterpart who is] suitable and COMPLEMENTARY for him.” Genesis 2:18 AMP
SEX WAS GIVEN TO ENHANCE THE PLEASURE AND LEISURE THAT COMPANIONSHIP BRINGS.
Couples NEED to realise this in order to redirect and reorder their priorities and needs in Marriage.
So, with the whole fear of "unwanted" pregnancy couples, especially wives, lose their drive for sex in marriage because, my brother "PUSH" no dey easy🙅🙅🙅. And the fear of the experience, especially when you don't see the need to have more babies can make you run from SEX in your marriage
But we can actually take care of this fear with the use of medical innovations. There is such thing as "FAMILY PLANNING". Couples must seek medical counsel on the most suitable family planning method for them putting into consideration each spouse's concerns, peculiarities and the likes.
In Marriage, family planning is not a matter to be left for the woman to handle. It is an act of insensitive, disaffection and irresponsibility to leave your wife to sort this matter alone. And the procedure must not be done on the woman, the Husband can also opt to have the procedure done on his body too, especially because he is the "stronger" vessel 🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺.
Lastly, we have this very sensitive issue of STDs, SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. This one issue has ravaged many Marriages.
The issue of STDs is usually very heated and sore because its effect/consequence is in two dimensions.
There is on the one end a strong RESENTMENT in the victimized/infected spouse. To think that his/her partner actually "cheated" on him/her with someone else is an enormous hurt to deal with. And on the other end is the discomfort, and distress that the infection may be causing him/her besides the rigor of its treatment considering the fact that STDs are very nagging and rarely clears out of the host system on treatment.
Many partners in Marriage, especially the women, spend so much treating the STD they contracted from their husbands that they make up their minds to never try SEX with their husbands or spouse, mostly if they feel that they are done with the need to make more babies.
This is indeed a very serious and volatile issue in marriage.
Consequently, SEX would surely lose ATTRACTION with the issue of infidelity and STD infesting the matrimonial bed.
NOTE: IN ALL , PLEASE GOD!
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We finally concluded this series 💃💃💃💃
I hope the whole series blessed you.
Let me know how much it did in the comment box.
Thank you so much for reading through.
Feel free to like, comment, share, tag friends, ask your questions etc.
BLESSINGS✓
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© Esther Daniels.
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